Douglas Schorr

Trump’s tariffs might be the needed wake-up call: stop exporting our lifeblood in grapes, avos, and maize.

You’re dying of thirst in the Northwest, and some slick corporate suit strolls up, siphons the last drops from your canteen, and sells them to a guy sipping cocktails in London. That’s South Africa right now—except the canteen’s our dams, and the cocktails are laced with our grapes, avocados, maize, and sugar cane. We’re a low-rainfall country, scraping by on 464 mm a year, yet we’re shipping our water overseas in thirsty crops. As a follower of the proper human diet—I’m a carnivore—I’m saying this isn’t just dumb, it’s suicidal. Wars will be fought over water, not oil, and South Africa is handing it over without a fight.

Poisoned Dams and Dustbowls

South Africa’s water situation is a train wreck. Experts warned years back we’re using 98% of our supply. The CSIR says there’s enough in rivers and dams—if we manage it right. Spoiler: we don’t. Dr. Anthony Turton’s been yelling it loud: 40% of our wastewater treatments are in critical condition, and 37% of clean water vanishes through leaky pipes and sloppy habits. Worse, microcystin toxin—think cobra venom’s nasty cousin—is poisoning our drinking water. Hartbeespoort Dam and the Crocodile River are cesspits already. Two-thirds of our dam water could soon be toxic sludge.

The Free State, our breadbasket, turned to a dustbowl in 2015—maize fields gone to sand from drought, El Niño, and climate change on overdrive. But check this: sugarcane’s the real gut punch. It guzzles 1,500–2,000 litres per kilo of sugar, wallops the soil, and trashes ecosystems. This isn’t just a water thief—it’s a health assassin, fuelling South Africa’s obesity and diabetes epidemic. And get this: it’s planted on lands the Zulu picked for their wild game, the stuff that made them some of the fittest warriors on Earth. We’ve swapped strength for a crop that kills us twice over.

So why do we keep planting and exporting this garbage? Greed. Corporations own our agriculture, and they don’t give a damn if we’re left parched—they’ve got profits to chase.

Grapes, Avos, Sugar, and Maize Water Export Madness

Let’s crunch it. One ton of grapes sucks up 300,000 litres of water. In 2015, we exported 420 million litres of wine—that’s 84 billion litres of water shipped out, enough to fill 33,600 Olympic pools. Britons pay £2 per litre for tap water but snag our wine at 5p per litre—300 litres of our lifeblood for pocket change. Avocados? Up to 2,000 litres per kilo, shipped to Europe while our taps cough dust. Maize guzzles over 1,000 litres per kilo—it’s good it’s not all shovelled into carb-stuffed citizens, but exporting it is still like selling your last water bottle. Sugarcane? A water-sucking monster, and we’re shipping that too.

This isn’t trade—it’s theft. We’re semi-arid, and every export raises our middle finger to our future. The Vaal Dam’s still clean, fed by the Klip and Wilge, but how long before Turton’s “critically poisoned” warning hits home? We’re not just running dry—we’re giving it away.

The Carnivore Angle: Meat Over Maize

Now, my diet: carnivore—meat, eggs, dairy, no plants. People scream beef’s a water hog at 15,000 litres per kilo. True, but most of that’s “green water”—rainfall, not irrigation. Compare that to maize or avocados, actively watered in our parched land, and meat looks lean. A kilo of beef packs protein, fat, and calories that crops can’t touch. South Africa’s metabolically wrecked from high-carb, low-meat diets peddled by Western nonsense. We need livestock, not maize fields.

Ditch crop exports, switch to regenerative grazing—Allan Savory’s style. Heal the grasslands, trap more water, and maybe even coax more rain. Export processed beef, not live water in grapes. It’s not about steak feasts—it’s about smarts.

Corporate Greed: The Real Enemy

Who’s behind this? Corporations and the ANC’s thirst for foreign currency. They’ve hijacked our fields, ditching cotton for sunflowers when profits tanked, outsourcing to small farmers or SADC neighbours like Zambia—where rules and wages are a joke. It’s profit-max vibes: bleed the land, dodge the mess. They’ll jet off with fat wallets while we’re stuck with slums and dry wells. Wine to water-rich Malaysia at £8 a bottle—300 litres of our water for peanuts. Holland’s dreaming up South African BBQ nights featuring a buffet of our food. We’re not exporters; we’re suckers.

Solutions: Rethink it all

Quit exporting water-hog crops—focus on low-water goods or processed stuff like beef jerky, not live avos. Fix farming: drip irrigation, rainwater harvesting, crops that don’t laugh at our rainfall. Livestock’s the ace—manage it right, and it’s a water win. Look at China: they’ve cut waste with tech and grit. We can too.

But it’s deeper. South Africans have bent over for too long. Turton and the CSIR laid it bare, yet the ANC’s “transformation” swapped skilled workers for cronies, tanking water systems. Science, not tradition, saves us. Young adults, this is your land—demand the water stays. The ANC borrows billions overseas for “food security,” then hands it back before the Rand cheque clears. They’re not saviours; they’re sellouts.

The Bottom Line: Water’s Worth More Than Wine

Water’s life—three days without it, you’re done. As a carnivore, I see it: meat’s efficient, crops aren’t. But this isn’t my diet’s fight—it’s survival. Stop exporting your dams, heal your land, tell the suits to shove it. Every litre counts.