Tough Love

In a chaotic turn of events, deep in the Rhodesian bush, my boss was rushed to the hospital. His replacement was delayed, and I was given the job of Returning Officer for the General Elections. When the replacement arrived, I approached him with a few concerns. He listened and then said, “You were considered good enough to do the job, and you’re getting the extra pay. Go think it out for yourself.”

Tough love is about not tying the children’s shoelaces even if they scream and roll about. Tough love is rooted in balancing compassion with discipline. It’s about setting firm boundaries and holding individuals accountable for their actions while still showing empathy and support.

The key elements are:

Setting clear boundaries to establish and maintain expectations and limits.

Consistently applying consequences when boundaries are crossed or expectations are exceeded.

Continually encouraging independence to promote self-reliance and personal responsibility.

Tough love is about giving empathy and understanding, mixing firmness with genuine care and support. How it is applied depends on the intellectual and physical capabilities of the individuals or groups being coached.

It is critical to ensure people receive tough love according to the correct parameters. Don’t fall into the trap of assuming children of 13 all have the same capabilities. They must be sorted into groups of similar capabilities. This principle applies to adults and certainly to PhD holders as well!

The time for bullsh*t political promises to 40 million South Africans of a grand life ahead provided through tax revenues and external borrowings is over—it won’t happen. The time for bullsh*t political promises to 10 million black South Africans that they’ll “soon” have all the jobs the non-blacks “stole” is over—it probably will happen, but that’ll be the day before total economic collapse. It is so simple.

If the cutoff to compete in the men’s shot put is 19m, no world official will listen to the ANC’s argument that because the previous British run government didn’t teach shot put, 16m is fine. Adding that their man’s grandfather was a hunter-gatherer will not help either. Either you can earn a Rand a day for your valued output or you cannot, and others have to give. The giving of Tough Love in 160 SANNA barracks all over the country is very urgent.